Some things you can never let go. But why would you want to. This is life, and everything that has happened are memories, learning experences, and finding myself. Is it so wrong to not let certian people or memories go? I dont think it is. Sometimes i admit it is necessary. But others not so much. Becasue its the momories that i have that keeps those people in my life, the want to make new ones with them. Fuck. I don't know what im talking about. My thoughts are all over. But thats really no different than any other day. You know what really bothers me about life, and todays society? I just hate ignorence; theres really no excuss for it (though theres exeptions with everything). but really, thiers librarys and the internet and what not to educate yourselves, if not educate yourselves gosh atleast make sure you know what your talking about... Damn. I also can't stand when people cut them selves short. I honestly think that everyone has the potential to be great. Why settle for anything less? Be great in somthing, be a great son/daughter. Be a great friend. Do something great, for cring out loud. God, just be yourself if nothing else, which isnt easy with the way things are. Gosh just doing that you have my kudos. Another thing, since when did they stop teaching you to create your own ideals and opinions at school? It discusts me, its like everyone just all of a sudden got lazy. I know that to create you own ideals and opinons you need to have some kind of knowledge but why stop there? It just seems more so often than not, i see people living by others words and theorys. I guess its ok if your ok with that. But gosh, i have nothing wrong with people admiaring others words or thoughs even, but gosh if you believe in it use it to create your own. Develope your own fucking opinions and shit. Im done ranting. Maybe i'll atleast be able to sleep now.

It's been so nice out side. I love everything about it. I could lay in the grass all day using the world as my pillow, each breath sweeter than the last. hah. Nothing could make my life better right now, exept maybe a doobie and someone to listen to my rambaling.  

It was bound to happen sooner or later.

   His words are ring in my ears from this morning. "Sarah, what the fuck is wrong with you. You're going to fucking talk to me." My reply stayed the same. "Nothing! I have nothing to say to you." But he was persistent, and i was stubborn. So I sat on the steps listening to the anger in his voice as he kept repeating, "Sarah whats wrong with you? You're going to talk to me!." The more he yelled the faster my tears fell. Still I said nothing. When it was over I walked up the steps holding the tears in, I didnt want the people up stairs to know that I could be broken. I sat of the roof for hours. I let the tears out, and waited for the wind to dry my face before I came back.

This isn't what I want.

-So im sorry if im distant with everyone. Don't take it offensively. I need to think about things. And I don't want any distraction.

I've knocked on the door, why not push down the wall?

I'm going to have to put alot of thought into it.

Is it really what i want? I wish i could answer that.

Things are really complicated and confusing right now. I have alot more stuff to think about then I thought. But for now i'm going to keep it simple.

   Maybe i'll be able to think more clearly if i spend a few days solber.

I'm not to sure how i feel about anything right now. I'm completly numb. When did this happen?

I'm losing it.

I used to be considerate, I am now selfish. I used to be caring now I don't give a fuck.

Sometimes I don't think its all worth growing up.

Yeah.....thats how exited i get after Mac and Cheese.

Is it nessecary to know someones past to build a future with them?

Personaly I don't think it is.  Now is all that matters.

I want to know everyones opinion on this.

Top of the world folks

top of the world.